Boom sundry August 2011-08-08
ALBATROSS
“I want to create enthusiasm, structure and make a strong impression on financiers”
The problem with this quote is that it’s a list containing two nouns and an infinitive.
A few additions are needed.
“I want to create enthusiasm and structure and to make a strong impression on financiers”
That was what Toste Junestrand, CEO at Albatross, said when he let BOOM lead the process of developing the corporate business plan.
I’ve moved said which was in the wrong place.
APTILO NETWORKS
Being an expert in one’s field, it is easy to get lost in technical details when developing, dramatising and communicating customer benefits. BOOM helped Aptilo through that process and redesigned their two web sites.
I have added an apostrophe for one’s and an before expert.
NETWORK SECURITY
OK . The dog text is in Swedish but I presume that the campaign has only been done in Swedish.
CELLMAX
Mail campaign and invitation to housewarming cocktail event at the CommunicaAsia2011 exhibition and conference in Singapore.
I changed the word order and added “and conference”. Makes it clearer.
I don’t like the phrase housewarming cocktails. Those two words don’t go together in my book. They suggest two rather different kinds of events.
I suggest; cocktail party, housewarming party, housewarming event or even housewarming cocktail party.
ITSNILLET. (Ingen egen sida)
OK
